Shout out to the people who have already asked the exact questions from my homework on yahoo answers
one time my dad gave me a glass of milk and i meant to ask him “who’s milk is this” because i wasnt sure if it was for me or if i was supposed to give it to my brother but instead i just stared down at the milk and said “who’s this”
then my dad turned to me without missing a beat and said “that’s your new friend mr. milk.” and we stared at each other and then he asked me if i was high
to this day i still have not lived it down
First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it
people say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways
'get some sleep'
'here have my fries'
'Im gonna draw you something'
"You’re a dork"
"I fucking hate you"
I am Groot.
No one ever said babies weren’t cute.
Seal, Fawn, Owl, Pigglet, Fox-pup, Sloth, Polar bear cub, Bunny and dolphin. (young babies)
What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy
a kanye west convention
I been thinking about this I can’t decide to call it conye or kanye fest
just have two conventions he deserves it
okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years?
‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’
‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’
the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky
‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’
lmao don’t try to scare me with that shit, everyone knows that skeletons aren’t fucking real. nerds
then explain this
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JESUS CHRISTJESUS FUCK
LIVIN THAT iPHONE 6 PLUS LYFE BEFORE ERRRRBODY ELSE
when john lennon went to school the teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. he drew a dick and wrote “suck it mr. teach” the teacher told him he didnt understand the assignment. he told the teacher he didnt understand life. that teacher? albert einstein